Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in alcippe_shadow's LiveJournal:

Friday, August 24th, 2007
6:24 pm	The Here and Now     I'm swamped.  This is not unusual for me; if I wasn't swamped I'd be bored.  However, this swamp is a little more sinister than the normal ones I've mired through.  After a good run of bad luck, I no longer have any livestock.  This is not a life change I welcome.  My poor old cow died unexpectedly, which was traumatic.  My horse broke her jaw (broke her jaw!) about the same time, and while I didn't have to put her down, the vet bills were almost more than I could handle and I ended up having to sell her.  Then in May, I had to sell my heifer and her day-old calf.  I was running into too much opposition in the family to keep her.  The calf was a good strong heifer calf, too, which would have put an end to the string of bull calves I'd been plagued with.  Something ate all my ducks.  I had 30, and now I have none.  Then at the end of July, my beloved blue cat Samwise died; I think someone hit him, but there was no outward signs of trauma.  This was the last crippling blow.  I've been vastly depressed ever since.  I can't really face getting another kitten even though I want one.  I don't know what got my ducks so I can't get more until I get that solved.  I can't have another cow or a horse until I get a real steady job.  I am sad.  And I just can't seem to get happy.     Then to make matters worse, I feel like Edward is shunning me.  This is not true, (at least I hope it's not); it's the same thing that happens every summer when he's off in the summer doing firefighter and fencing things.  Still, having him gone while my life sucks is very difficult.  School has started, which creates a diversion, but I am still wandering around in a fog of befuddled sad.  I want my life to go somewhere now and it's not and I don't even have my animals.  I still have Max and Molly, and Frodo is still around, but he's Grandma's cat.  Kevin got a puppy, and I've been playing with her a lot.  Her name is Abby and she's very cute.  She's kind of both of ours.  And I think I will get a kitten an the 15th of september.  I meant to get a kitten on the 8th, and get Abby microchipped, but I have to go on a camping trip with one of my classes.  I'm not liking that; I had other necessary things to do that weekend.  Oh well, there are some things I can't get around.  In the meanwhile, I will be sad because my animals are either dead, sold, or getting old, and Edward is away or too busy to hang out with me when he is here.  And winter will come, and things will be better.      Current Mood: depressed (Comment on this)
Monday, February 26th, 2007
9:35 pm	The business of weddings     I never thought this weekend would end soon enough.  Somehow I ended up as a wedding coordinator when all I was supposed to be tending to were flowers.  Some boutineers and a couple of corsages, a bridal boquet and a smattering of flowers in the church and reception hall were supposed to be my only concern.  And then my concern grew.  And grew.  Earlier I thought the groom would be the one with the coronary but as the time ground down to the ceremony it was my cardiac health I worried about.  Of course, it all turned out nicely and things went as planned and it's all good.  Thankfully.  I couldn't have done it without Edward and Amanda.  Of course all my other help was greatly appreciated but Edward and Amanda were my angels this weekend.  Though I think Amanda needed an angel of her own after Saturday; she looked very tired and almost ill.  I do hope no one gets married right away; I've no energy for another wedding for at least a good six months.  The ceremony was nice and short, which was good because my little brother fidgeted through the whole thing.  I don't know how many times I had to elbow him in the ribs.  After wedding pictures took a bloody aeon though, so the reception didn't get on the road till much later.  This too was alright; Edward and my brother and I all took off for chinese food, which greatly helped my demeanor.  I think hot and sour soup was the key to my feeling better; if it wasn't that maybe it was the tea.        The reception, like the ceremony, was short.  I think it lasted for two or three hours.  This was long enough though; everyone involved was tired and ready to relax and those who weren't involved were old so they took off early anyway.  I wore out myself and my wallet preparing for Zac and Amy's wedding, but having considered that I would do it all again.  They are my friends, and after all, what are friends for if not to wear themselves ragged making sure one of the biggest days of your life is perfect?  I shall have to inquire just who Zac was aiming for with that garter (after he finally found it in Amy's cloud of petticoats), as it went sailing directly for Edward.  This too was funny, as Edward had enough time to realize the garter was sailing right for him, and to roll his eyes and dip his head, and then put up his hand to snatch it out of the air.  Ah well.  Now he has a garter to adorn his review  mirror.      Of course after all that merry making I was about useless on Sunday.  I don't think I did anything at all besides sleep till noon and ... have a looonnngggg shower.  And whatever else trivial thing I might have attempted to do.  I was more ambitious today, but that's only fair as it is two days later and I should be back in business.  Business now includes getting ready for the agility test for the state; I swear if those people planned any more than two weeks ahead their little brains would burst.  I have to run like a maniac again just to be sure I'll be ready for those odd little trials.  Honestly packing two 45 lbs weights x number of yards doesn't really replicate carrying a 180 lbs person on a backboard with one other rescuer.  I've done that.  Whoever came up with this test has never been in the field.  Ah well, whether the test makes sense or not it must be done and I will do it.  But ugh.  And then there is the issue of the background investigation packet.  There are better than 100 pages of things I need to fill out about me and everything I've ever done.  Wow.   I don't know if I had time for a wedding in all this.  Or if I had time for the state amidst the wedding.  Either way, I must deal with it and I still feel ... overwhelmed, for lack of a better term.  I think, for now, I'm going to go hide my head. Current Mood: anxious (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, February 11th, 2007
11:13 pm	Splat! I am definitely not the most graceful person on this planet. Nor the most coordinated. I expect that if people were all graceful we'd have four legs and claws on our toes, or at very least sharp hooves. As it is, I have my two flat feet and a bruised set of ribs on the right and a sore shoulder on the left. Falling is definitely for the birds. Novel, as I fell in the duckpen. I was feeding the ducks, who were all eating by the time I fell and had nothing to do with my toppling, and my feet slipped out from under me. When I fall, I do it well. No holds barred; I crash in a big way. Yesterday was no different. My feet flew out, I landed on my ribs on the lip of a half-barrel in the pen, shoved my hand in blackberry briars, and then fell on my other shoulder. When I hit the ground, my first thought was "Did I break anything?" and on brief inspection found only a bruise, but I knocked the wind out of myself and spent more than a few seconds getting that back. And then I was muddy. Of course I was muddy; I slipped because it was muddy and slick. I had an audience for all this too, which made it even worse. Add embarrassment to crashing into stuff and getting covered and mud and you have a right interesting afternoon. On a better note, we went to dinner at the Ivanhoe after that. (And after a clean pair of pants and a new shirt). It was our version of a Valentine's dinner. I don't really know what the plan is for valentine's day, or if Edward and I actually have one, but we did our celebrating with Brock and his girfriend last night. Edward already has a gift for me... I don't know, I am not too excited about major gifts of Valentine's day. Gifts are cool, but I think they're better when they're random instead of on the canned gifts-of-love day. I've not established what to get him yet. I have some ideas but I can't figure out where to get my matierals to carry out said ideas. He had a necklace that he wore but it met an untimely disappearance on the hillside. And, as it's nigh impossible to find stuff there, I have been poking around for a replacement. But it's not anything that can be very big or obvious. I don't know. I shall inspect tomorrow I suppose. Current Mood: sore (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007
7:13 pm	Excuse me? I guess I'll start using LJ more. Did I already say that? Anyway, I was at Rite Aid yesterday (yay corporate america) buying face moisturizer for my suddenly cranky skin when I saw a friend from high school. Now, it's been about six years since I graduated and most of the people I was in school have gone off and drifted away, as is expected. But this friend... this friend is unique. He was a friend who sat next to me in countless Ag classes, showed livestock with me at the fair, dated my best friend's sister, went to lunch with us all piled in his tiny car, and the kind of a guy a girl could just hang out with. Now, I never crushed over him, because he was just... himself. He was cute and polite but not my type. After graduation, I didn't see him for some time. Then, not more than a year ago, he pops up. He stopped me infront of the music store where I worked and was all smiles, bright eyed and happier than I could ever remember him being. "Can I tell you something?" he asked, and I said "Sure, go for it," figuring he'd either gotten married, had a child, or turned gay. Turns out he'd turned gay. This is all well and good; I'd known for years that he was and patiently waited for him to figure it out himself. "You're not mad?" he asked me, cautious that shock might have hold of my tongue for a moment. "Of course not! Glad you finally realized it yourself." He gave me the biggest hug and gushed on about how happy he was, and he was. Then I didn't see him for another long time. Until yesterday, in Rite Aid. Where I had to pounce him to get him to even acknowledge me. He was in a hurry and acted like he didn't want to talk. What's up with that? He knows that I accepted his life choice and respect it, but he snubbed me, for no particular reason. Now, I can see why he'd like guys, as I have a particular affinity for them myself, but why this reaction? Oh well. Perhaps I caught him on an off day; I don't know. I don't like him any less; why does he react to me like he does? I guess I just like to hang on to the friends I have, and had, because I have a difficult time making new ones. My friends, even if I don't get to see all of them, all of the time, mean the world to me. Current Mood: confused Current Music: Warcraft in the background (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 21st, 2006
11:45 pm	randomness What type of Fae are you? (Comment on this)